Wammys Boys React
by NearShoey
Summary: Based of of the React Brothers, Near,Matt,and Mello spend thier days in Wammys reacting to things all over the Internet. Rated T for, well, Mello.
1. The dress

Wammys boy's react to: the dress.

Mello and Matt shared a room at wammys, but generally Near was there as well, usually beating Matt at video games or helping Mello study. This day was different however, as the trio had nothing to do. Matt was out of games, and there was no weekend homework for any of them. Matt, being the ever cliche teenager he was, suggest they look on the Internet. Grabing Mello's laptop (his was taken away for hacking into a teachers email and putting him on a nasty dating site, but that's a story for another time), Matt searched on Google for something to do.

"What?" Matt said out of nowhere.

"What is it Matt?" Near said in a bored tone. Matt was often startled by the smallest of things, so he didn't take to heart the bewildered look on his face.

"This dress, apparently in can change color..." Matt said uncertainly. "From blue and black to white and gold..."

"Are you sure it's not just some optical illusion shit?" Questioned Mello, taking yet another bite of chocolate.

"Usually optical illusions work on most anybody, but this is a serious debate on both sides." Matt laughed quietly. "Let's see this controversial dress then, shall we?" Both Near and Mello leaned in when he clicked on the link.

"Aw come on!"

"Are you serious?"

"This is what people are debating over?" Near said, obviously not impressed.

Mello scoffed, "It's obvious the dress is white and gold."

Matt and Near turned to to him and looked like he insulted their great ancestors.

"What?" Mello said defensively.

"Mello, it's black and blue!" Matt gawked, suprised the top student could possibly be seeing something other than he saw.

"Matt is correct, the dress is most definitely black and blue." Near spoke slowly, almost as if he now thought the blonde wouldn't get it if spoke to quickly, or even normally.

"My ass! Are you even looking at the sam-" Mello suddenly paused looking back at the screen, seeing a now black and blue dress in place of the white and gold dress perceived earlier. "How did..."

"It changed. It is now white and gold." Near said, blinking twice more to see it had changed a third time. "This is strange, it is now the original color again. Matt?"

"What the fuck are you two smoking? All I've seen is a black and blue dress!" Matt exclaimed, laughing at their shocked faces.

"That has to be the most ironic thing you've ever said, Matt" Mello said, obviously irritated by the brunette. "Let's look at something else guys."

Shaking their heads in agreement, Matt exited out of the page, in search of something else to cure their boredom.


	2. Shrek is love

Wammys React To: Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

Matt searched through several websites for a while before giggling out,

"Hey Near, you like Shrek don't you? I have a feeling you'll love this."

Both Near and Mello looked at him strangely, wondering what on earth he found on the Internet about shrek.

"Matt, this sounds creepy as fuck. Play the video." Mello said, deciding he wanted to see what the fuck this was about. Both turned to Near, and once he nodded in agreement, they started the video.

It started out with merchandise of shrek in what looked like a boys room, and narration. As the camera pans around the room, Near shifted around in his seat. He already hated Matt for this.

"I was only 9 years old. I loved shrek so much. I had all the merchandise and movies. I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life i've been given." Mello interrupted,

"That's a big ass nine year old. What The hell are we watching Matt?"

"Watch Mello, I'm sure you'll enjoy it too." Matt snickered.

The video continued, "Shrek is love, I say, shrek is life."

"My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to shrek. I call him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to sleep." We then see the boy curled up in bed, looking upset.

"This is already disturbing, and the dads an asshole. I'm not sure if want to continue." Near spoke up, feeling upset as the boy appeared.

"Come on Near, your bored too aren't you?" Mello covinced him. Bordom was a terrible thing.

They all continued watching.

"I'm crying now, and my face hurts. I'm laying in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving twords me. I feel something touch me."

"96% chance that-"

"Its shrek. Im so happy. He wispers in my ear 'this is my swamp'. He grabs me with his powerful oger hands and puts me on my hands and knees."

"If this is going where I think it is I swear to god Matt."

"I'm ready."

"I most certainly am not." Near sat up to leave, but Matt grabbed his wrist and sat the young boy on his lap, forcing him to watch.

"I Spread my ass cheeks for shrek. He penatrates my butthole."

Near made an uncharacteristically girly squeak and covered his eyes.

"It hurts so much, but i do it for shrek. I feel my butthole tearing as my eyes threaten to water. I push against his force. I want to please shrek."

Mello was going to be sick, but Matt looked like he would burst from laughing so hard. Near continued to squirm and squeak in his lap, which only succeeded in making him laugh harder. Mello had enough, and turned the video off.

"Shrek was my favorite movie for 3 years..." Near wispered traumatized.

Obviously we can't trust Matty boy here to get on the Internet," Mello snatched back his laptop, "so I'll find something."

"Ok" the others said in unison, rearranging themselves around Mello. Hopefully he could find better entertainment.

AN: ok this didn't go as well as I hoped it would, but I still like it as a chapter so I'll keep it. Please review and let me know what else the boys should react to! 


	3. Anaconda

Wammys React To: ANACONDA

Mello didn't take long to find a source of entertainment. Soon enough, Matt and Near snapped their heads to attention when the heard what sounded like tapes from nature. One look and the gamer recognized the video immediately.

"Aw hell yeah! Come om Mels, wanna twerk?"

Mello said nothing, but the deviously happy look on his face suggested fun for Matt, and hell for Near. Both 15 year olds positioned themselves across the room from Near, knees bent, elbows on Mello's bed, and asses in the air.

Poor Near. Being the social retard he was, he couldn't comprehend what the fuck was going on, or why his friends were in such revealing positions. Of course, he wasn't upset with development, just completely confused.

While all this happened the song had been going on, they heard a female rapping. She was getting into what seemed like the chorus.

"By the way, what he say, he can tell I ain't missing no meals, come through and fuck him in my automobile"

Near, looking back to to the video, he saw this paticular one came with lyrics. Intresting. He's never rapped before, might as well try.

" Let him eat it with his grill, he keep telling me to chill, he keep telling me it's real that he love my sense appeal, he don't like em bony he want something he can grab for so I pull up I'm a jag, and i hit him with a jab like dundundundundundunddun" Near rapped, keeping up pace with Nicki.

Both teens stopped twerking immediately and turned around. They couldn't believe it. Near, the quiet as a mouse sheep like bunny boy...

*** could rap like hell.***

For a moment, all you could hear was Near and Nicki's powerful voices, both rapping faster than anyone thought Near could. Then the chorus came on, and Near looked up, looking almost as suprised as the rest. Before saying anything though, Matt starting singing.

"My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!"

"Omg, look at her butt, omg, look at her butt, omg, look at at her butt, look at her butt, l-l-look at HER BUTT." Mello sang in his best white girl voice.

Everyone looked at each other, assuring what parts they were singing. None of them could believe this was actually happening, it seemed so ridiculous to have the three smartest boys, possibly in the world, singing a song that used anaconda to replace dick, and was basically about a fat ass. But fuck them if it wasn't the funniest thing in the world.

Near started off again in the middle of the song, " real country ass nigga let me play with his rifle, pussy put ass to sleep now he calling me nyquil." Near, getting ever so playful and comfortable with rapping, threw Matt a wink during this part of the song. This resulted in several things:

1\. Matt blushed so hard tomatoes would be jealous.

2\. Mello laughed his ass off, falling to the floor in giggles.

3\. Near stood and tried to help Mello up, and continued rapping.

After Mello finally recovered, his turn had come and gone. Soon the song ended, but everyone had questions for each other. So Mello went first.

"When the hell did you learn to rap Near?"

"A few minutes ago."

"You learn to fast."

"How long did it take you?"

"..half an hour."

Matt interrupted, "what was that wink Near? You like me? Didn't know you swing that way."

"Don't be full of yourself, Matt. I was in the heat of the song. Plus, I don't even know how I swing, if at all."

"You don't know? Your a genius. How the hell do you not know your orientation?"

"...I'm 13 Mello. 13 is not the most clear age, even for us. I'd think you'd know that."

"Ha, what us? I already know I'm Bi. *You* are still confused, not me."

"Ok, ok, me-ow," Matt mocked Mello before continuing. "That's enough ladies. Let's find something else, the Internet has proven itself entertaining.

AN: I felt like this was a bad episode because instead of the cute little episode like thing I'd planned to happen, it kinda become to story like. But since it will be more story like later, this kind of episode was coming. Well I hope someone likes this. BTW: I post somewhat irregularly, but I always post within a week of my last update. Anyway FOB is on, see ya soon!


	4. Don't Hug Me I'm Scared 1

Wammys React To: Don't Hug Me I'm Scared 1

Mello, once again, scavenged the Internet. He was not disappointed.

"Today on the disturbing side of the Internet. We have..."

"Please no more shrek."

"Dear god no. This is better."

"Better as in, " Your going to have nightmares and insomnia for the rest of your life?"

"Definitely. Bet this is reason L never sleeps."

Matt interrupted Mello and Near's suprising calm conversation. "Well, show us the alleged video then Mells. Better be good."

Half way through the first episode, Matt was only slightly creeped out, Mello was confused, and Near was already ready to bury his face in Mello's sleeve. He knew things like this never stay innocent for long, and the yellow retarded character already sent chills down his spine. Of course, you couldn't tell any of this just by looking at him.

"Let's get creative!"

Matt jumped at the sudden change of animation, as the room spun around the three animals. The music became distorted, blood and guts cake was cut out, the video just became overall unnerving. Near turned his head away at the sight of a heart covered in blood and glitter.

"Now let's all agree, to never be creative again!"

"Agreed." The boys said in unison.

Fuck. That.

After a long 5 minutes, boredom crept in once again.

"My turn." Near spoke softly.

WOW this was short as shit. I hope you enjoyed it! I took forever to get this updated, I'm sorry for that, but I just got slight writers block. All cleared up now! Leave me suggestions for new chapters if you'd like! Also, I will soon have a oneshot written from a dream I had, check it out!


	5. Five nights at Freddy's 1

Wammys React To: Five Nights at Freddy's

"Scariest game ever..."

Near was scrolling through popular youtubers, and had stumbled upon a man named Markiplier. Since they first started surfing the Internet together (about a week ago), Near, Mello, and Matt had all gotten a little more immunity to shocking stories, videos, and things of that sort. This didn't seem to be any different, but Near alarmed Matt anyway.

"Psshh, yea right. I've played Silent Hill before, can't be that bad." Matt claimed, taking Near's place in the middle and downloading said game.

"Five Nights at Freddy's." Mello read on the screen. "Freddy Krueger?"

"Thats a hundred years old, Mello. Probably not about him." Matt rolled his eyes at Mello's connection.

"Fuck you, it's a classic. The game is ready."

After setting it up and realizing it was one night per level, Mello took the first 2 nights, Near took 3 and 4, and Matt was going to tackle night 5. Now, Mello was in the middle with the younger boy to his left and the older one to his right.

"Let's start this bitch." Mello sighed, starting the game. With a sudden blur, the screen showed the game took place in a small office like room with one, 'no, two' Mello noted in his head, doors. Clicking around the screen, he also noted a power percentage on the left of the screen, with only 98% already.

"What is this? A panel?" Near pointed out a box near the bottom of the screen. Mello clicked it, and was slightly startled by the opening of a... camera?

All the while, they heard a phone ringing from the game. Not knowing how to answer it, Mello just let it play, assuming it would stop soon. When it finally stopped, the heard a man's voice.

"Hello! Hello, hello! Uhh..I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night."

"Fuck. Guys, pay attention to what this guy is saying, I'm going to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do." Mello demanded. Near and Matt listend intently, both analysing ever word the could make out. He said nothing of true interest until:

"The animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky but do I blame them?"

"These things move Mello, be careful." Matt warned. Mello had discovered how to to switch cameras, and was trying to figure out a way to get rid of the annoying fan.

"What? What mo-"

A high pitched scream was heard. Both Near and Matt looked to each other first, then caught a glimpse of a gaping Mello. Turning to the screen, they saw exactly why Mello was terrified.

The bunny has gone missing.

"Where is he Mello?" Near groaned, wanting so badly to check the cameras himself.

"Idontknowidontknowidontknowidont- ah!"

Mello said, switching between cameras. He kept saying this until finally he stopped at what looked like the dining hall of the restaurant. A big, floppy eared shadow that seemed to be staring at the three confused boys was what they were looking for, but they weren't at all prepared to find it.

"Shit, fuck, fuck" was Matts immediate response.

"Go check on the bear!" Near squeaked.

"He's still on the stage."

"How do we keep them away?" Near thought out loud more than asked.

Mello clicked out of the camera and looked around the small office they were stuck in.

He pressed the button labeled "door", and saw a large metal wall shut one of the openings.

"I'm guessing we use these. It takes away power though." Mello responded, pointing to the the battery life, currently at 74%.

"what happens when the power gets to 0?"

"We'll find out soon enough I guess... I'm closing both doors"

"Now concerning your safety: the only real risk to you as the night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters...uhh if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll-they'll most likely see you as a metal endo-skeleton without its' costume on. Now since thats against the rules at Freddy Fazbears Pizza they'll probably try ta...forcefully stuff you in a Freddy Fazbear suit. Umm that wouldn't be so bad if the costumes themselves weren't filled with crossbeams; wires; and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area-"

Near processed this immediately, and tried to put it into words for his panicked friends.

"OK if we let any of the robot things get us, they're going to stuff us in one of the bear costumes. So we don't have to keep the doors closed the whole time-"

"Are you kidding me? we're supposed to keep the door open while a bunch of killer teddy bears are roaming outside?"

"Thats the challenge, dipshit. I'm opening the doors." Mello, who got a slap in the back of the head for his last comment to Matt,opened both virtual doors and checked both lights.

"All cle- HOLY MOTHER FUCK." Mello quickly closed the door after witnessing a silhouette of the missing bunny.

"Isn't it made out of metal and shit, why can't it tear down the door?"

"Let's hope it doesn't." Near sighed.

~end of part 1~

An:I'M SO SO SORRY FOR BEING LAZY AND NOT UPDATING AT ALL! Since summer started, I have been letting my body and my mind rest from stressful finals. Buttttttt I'm back! Did you guys get the forshadowing of Mello's scar by the Freddy Krueger reference? No? Yea, it was a pretty far stretch but I liked the pun. This is going to be an ongoing series, but ill still take request inbetween the fnaf instalations. (Btw, in this universe Matt is older than Mello, by like 8 months.) Thanks for reading!


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